7 weeks out

7 weeks out from the Cutler and I am holding steady at my new weight.  I have 5 lbs to lose to be competitive, which will be pretty much easy to do especially since I've done the hard work of losing 13 pounds over the last two months.  5 lbs should be much easier as i transition to doing more cardio and more focus on my legs.

My legs are my weak area.  Those parts that give me the curves and booty that people covet, aren't exactly what i need to be competitive.  While i will still have my curves and booty, there will just be less of it around my hips to gather and hide my bikini strings.

I am glad i have a good image of my body though.  I can see how this sport could cater to someone who has an eating disorder.  Watching what i eat, exercising, i see how someone could over do it.

HOWEVER, I also see the reverse of that.  My sister, who has been "going to the gym" despite being over weight by at least 150 lbs, hasn't lost any weight.  I tell her i'm trying to cut and lose 5 more lbs for competition, and she asks why.  She asks why I'm decreasing my calories and I'm like... cause i need to lose 5 lbs.  The fact that she didn't quite get that decreasing calories and exercising contributes to weight loss is either a case of complete obliviousness or a snide way to say i don't need to lose anymore weight.   I will have to go with the latter cause she has a personal trainer who has been working with her with nutrition (that she doesn't follow) so i think in her way she's thinking i'm small enough.  Most people don't understand my sport, why I have to cut weight, at least they don't till they come see a competition, then they understand they understand 100%.  

I am a normal and functional weight for an athlete, but for competitions i'm not lean enough for people to see the musculature they need, especially in my legs.  I went too far with my bulking this off season hence me needing to lose so much weight.  Next time I'll Lean bulk so it's not as much of an effort around competition time.  But that's for my sport.  Normal time i'm gonna hover in the 120s and be happy with what i have and go to the gym and workout.  I'll be mindful of what i eat.  Doing one without the other isn't helping.  

Using exercise as an excuse to eat badly doesn't work. YOU CAN NOT out run or out work a bad eating plan.  This is what my sister has yet to understand or she does understand and doesn't care.  Not sure which it is.  It just bothers me when she tries to justify her bad behavior with i went to the gym.  Her weight isn't an issue for her yet because she hasn't twisted her knee bad enough, and she doesn't have to take blood pressure meds or diabetes meds and she can still find clothes that she finds attractive to fit her.  Honestly my sister will never be small, but for her to get back to a healthy weight that she is back to size 14 pants would be nice.  She seemed more comfortable and happy at that weight.  Hovering in the 300s she's not.  

Sorry to rant, I just don't understand that type of excuse making.  If you are happy with it, admit it and stop fooling yourself by "trying to lose weight". Be happy with what you have.  If you are not happy, don't make excuses about it and change what your doing for the better.  Simple as that... well at least I thought it was.