Deflection or when you parents really say really dumb stuff
SO, I have been trying to convince my dad to stop paying for my sister to see a personal trainer. Why? Cause my sister is bordering on 300 lbs, doesn't follow what her trainer suggests, doesn't do what she needs to do and goes out to eat 3-4 times a week. She's essentially wasting my dad's money for personal trainer sessions that she's not taking advantage of. She's been wasting my dad's money for around 9 months now and has lost a total of 10 lbs. She hasn't made any lifestyle changes and has been lying to my parents about what she is doing. My dad is concerned for her health so he keeps paying but i had to have a real heart to heart with him yesterday. I showed him the numerous check ins weekly for food places that don't serve the foods she needs to be eating, her lack of working out and lack of adhering to the eating plan her trainer had suggested. Instead of accepting this advice and information, my dad decided to point out that I was bigger and I need to watch it.
RECORD SCREECH!!!!
My brain processed this and was like you have got to be kidding me? Your eldest daughter is 150 lbs over weight and you are telling me that i'm getting fat? I have 15% body fat, lift 3 times a week, do cardio 5 times a week, follow a strict eating plan and can bench press my mom and you ignore what I'm telling you about my sister and tell me I'm getting fat. I stopped the conversation at this point.
In that moment I remember how I've felt my entire life, as the Underdog. My favorite character on tv was Underdog cause no one believed he could be better than he was. This has been how I felt for a long time growing up. My sister was always smarter, bigger, always right. Half of my introvert ways are because I could sense no one really wanted to hear what I had to say. I soon stopped sharing what I had to say with people I knew who didn't care and left it alone. Once we got older, Ii realized that my parents did care what I had to say, especially after they started seeing the halo on my sister slip. I've always pretty much did what I wanted to do not concerned about others and developed my self confidence via years of determination.
However, every once and a while, as a way of deflection because of their insecurities that what i said exposed, people would go back to ignoring what I have to say and changing subjects to focus on the bad things about me. Of course, as an Adult I realized what it was and I filed it under the appropriate file in my head and did something about it. However, when it happens in my family, I file it away but it still lingers and festers. Why? Cause I feel discounted, I feel like the 7 year old that no one cared to pay attention to. There is nothing I can do about it. I know what they say is a deflection because of their own insecurities, and while it can happen in other arenas and I brush that stuff off ( like when it happened in derby); when it happens in my family, I brush it off then I retreat.
I am comfortable being alone and staying to myself, I've had practice with it. But, I shouldn't have to just because someone else is insecure. I shouldn't feel irritated or that my thoughts and concerns should be ignored because they make sense and make you feel uncomfortable. So I will stop trying to help my sister and I will stop trying to convince my dad to stop. He'll figure it out on his own or he won't. I just don't have that kind of time to waste anymore. Plus stress makes it harder to drop weight and I have a end of month goal to meet.
I just had to get that out of my head and off my chest.
I am also addicted to seeing numbers on a scale after one time. I almost freaked when i saw the scale was gone out of the gym locker room.
RECORD SCREECH!!!!
My brain processed this and was like you have got to be kidding me? Your eldest daughter is 150 lbs over weight and you are telling me that i'm getting fat? I have 15% body fat, lift 3 times a week, do cardio 5 times a week, follow a strict eating plan and can bench press my mom and you ignore what I'm telling you about my sister and tell me I'm getting fat. I stopped the conversation at this point.
In that moment I remember how I've felt my entire life, as the Underdog. My favorite character on tv was Underdog cause no one believed he could be better than he was. This has been how I felt for a long time growing up. My sister was always smarter, bigger, always right. Half of my introvert ways are because I could sense no one really wanted to hear what I had to say. I soon stopped sharing what I had to say with people I knew who didn't care and left it alone. Once we got older, Ii realized that my parents did care what I had to say, especially after they started seeing the halo on my sister slip. I've always pretty much did what I wanted to do not concerned about others and developed my self confidence via years of determination.
However, every once and a while, as a way of deflection because of their insecurities that what i said exposed, people would go back to ignoring what I have to say and changing subjects to focus on the bad things about me. Of course, as an Adult I realized what it was and I filed it under the appropriate file in my head and did something about it. However, when it happens in my family, I file it away but it still lingers and festers. Why? Cause I feel discounted, I feel like the 7 year old that no one cared to pay attention to. There is nothing I can do about it. I know what they say is a deflection because of their own insecurities, and while it can happen in other arenas and I brush that stuff off ( like when it happened in derby); when it happens in my family, I brush it off then I retreat.
I am comfortable being alone and staying to myself, I've had practice with it. But, I shouldn't have to just because someone else is insecure. I shouldn't feel irritated or that my thoughts and concerns should be ignored because they make sense and make you feel uncomfortable. So I will stop trying to help my sister and I will stop trying to convince my dad to stop. He'll figure it out on his own or he won't. I just don't have that kind of time to waste anymore. Plus stress makes it harder to drop weight and I have a end of month goal to meet.
I just had to get that out of my head and off my chest.
I am also addicted to seeing numbers on a scale after one time. I almost freaked when i saw the scale was gone out of the gym locker room.
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